Do you struggle with ways to showcase how much you love your wife? Do you find yourself exhausted at the end of the day, after work, dinner and time with the kids? Are you really taking the time to invest in the relationship that you and wife have built? Though it may take some extra effort, sowing into your marriage should be one of the biggest priorities you have each day. With some practice, I’ve found ways to show my wife how important she is to me. Here are 10 Ways to Love your Wife.
1. She is special – keep her that way.
When most of us marry, it is because we have found a woman who is special in our eyes. Among all the women you have known, she has won your heart. Keep her that way – react to her as special, treat her as special, think of her as special.
2. You married her for love – then love her.
Married love thrives when there are consistent expressions of affection, and that same love shrivels up when such expressions are lacking. Let her know clearly, repeatedly and in a variety of ways that you love her.
3. Enjoy activities together.
The busyness of commitments, obligations and responsibilities pulls many of us along like the currents of the mighty Mississippi. Whatever you and your wife enjoyed doing before you were married – make sure you continue to find the time to enjoy these activities together after the wedding.
4. Romance her.
Remember that being lovers is one thing that distinguishes this relationship from the many other friendships you have.
5. Acknowledge the role that she plays in your family.
Whether your wife works in the home, or out of the home, she needs to feel valued. Make a point of noticing what she does for your family and how important those actions are. By sharing with her how much you appreciate her cooking, cleaning, working, etc. you’re showing her that you see all that she does and sincerely value the partnership that you share.
6. Communicate with her.
1. Communication is something that comes naturally to some and takes effort for others. Keeping your wife in the loop will help her to know what you’re thinking and how she can take an active role in your relationship. Communication should be open about any plans…everything from what time you hope to get home to what’s going on at work to what’s stressing you out (and how she can help.) We often have our chats once the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, so that we can devote our time to each other. By talking to your wife, she will understand that you do see your marriage as a partnership and that you’re there to support one another.
7. Be her knight in shining armor.
This one might sound cliché, but most women, whether they recognize it or not, want a knight in shining armor. That doesn’t mean you need to buy a horse and ride in to save her. It does mean helping to minimize her hurt and stress. When times get tough, find ways to lessen her load and take the reins to make it happen. This might mean scheduling a massage or date night during stressful times or taking over with the kids while she takes a few minutes to read. One of my favorite “knightly” things to do is hand her a coffee gift card and tell her to go relax for a bit while the kids and I hang out. Helping her take time to step back from life’s stressors will serve as another reminder of how much you care.
8. Use some imagination.
1. Plan events, dates, evenings at home, vacations – even stolen moments – with the kind of creative thinking that motivated you when you first asked her out. There’s a psychological concept known as the “self-fulfilling prophecy.” Simply put: Believe she’s worth the trouble and she will be; stop trying hard and so will she; and bring some creative intention to your romance as if she still knocks your socks off – and she will.
9. Set goals together.
1. When you said your vows, you agreed to spend your lives together. Over our lives we all grow and change. Talking regularly about how you hope to grow and change together will help her to know that you still see your marriage as a “forever” commitment. One of the things I like about our goal setting sessions is the book of dreams that we’ve created. We can look back over the years at the hopes that we’ve had and how far we’ve come. Through goal setting, not only will you have a common vision to work on together, but you’ll both be reminded of the power that you have as a couple.
10. Do not criticize.
Criticism is arguably the most destructive act (short of infidelity) that individuals can thrust on their partners. Agree to eliminate criticism from your marriage. It simply means that you will not insult or attack your wife in the process.